


Intertwined

by Imherefinally



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2020-07-26 00:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imherefinally/pseuds/Imherefinally
Summary: “Did you miss me?”Vriska had been gone for two years, three months, and ten days. When she showed up on Terezi’s doorstep she didn’t know what else to say.She nodded curtly, distantly, “come in.”





	1. the first one

“Did you miss me?”

Vriska had been gone for two years, three months, and ten days. When she showed up on Terezi’s doorstep she didn’t know what else to say.

She nodded curtly, distantly, “come in.”

The house was dark. She was still blind, but it took Vriska by surprise. When she knocked into a table Terezi motioned to a switch across the room.

She navigated the space perfectly, leaving Vriska to stumble her way through the room.

With the lights on she finally got a good look at her.

She was… she looked tired, but she was pretty sure that was just a permanent fixture of her face. It was more pronounced now, more obvious with time apart. She seemed sharper, like she had been hardening herself, or maybe it was only because she just appeared on her doorstep like a minute ago.

She was still so fucking beautiful-

“So…”

“So…” Terezi took a deep breath, “did it not work out with Meenah?”

“No.”

She sighed again, pressing a hand to her temple, “why are you here?”

There were lots of reasons why. None of them were good enough, not enough to justify a place in the home she left.

“I don’t know.”

“Ok.”

Had she changed? Had her feelings changed? Did it mean anything she said? Terezi suspected the answer to all of these questions were a resounding ‘no’ but she was too lonely to care. She had friends, she had friends she could be with but they all pitied her, and not in the way she wanted. She wasn’t a mess, really. She could take care of herself just fine but that’s it. She was really just surviving, baseline, and there wasn’t anything else. She didn’t want it to be true, and she couldn’t let her know.

“So are you just, swinging by?”

“I don’t know?”

“Ok,” Terezi sat on her couch, and Vriska did the same, their old spots- “are you homeless or something?”

She laughed a bit, surprised, “Yeah, I guess so.”

Asking anything else, it would just hurt too much. She wanted to know everything, had too, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t let her know that while she went gallivanting around she was so fucking depressed and wrecked and…

Whose turn was it? To speak, to apologize, to beg to cry to-

“I, um, missed you.”

The Vriska who said that… she wasn’t the one who left. Maybe she had changed. Maybe it could work.

She’s up.

“I didn’t.”

Fuck.

“No?” She sounded wounded, like they weren’t sparring like before, fuck it isn’t her fault if she tried to pick it up like normal-

“I’ve been uh, sewing. Really takes my mind off things. Haven’t had any time to-“

“With Kanaya?”

There wasn’t accusation in her voice, just somber recognition; she blew it. She blew it forever and how could Terezi forgive her it was stupid to think-

“No… not like that.”

Vriska’s heart un-broke, and it was just as painful.

“Have you seen her?”

“No, you’re the first.”

“Oh.”

Two years is a long time.

When Vriska woke up on the couch the next morning she was sore. She wanted to run, to get out of the house and go for a long walk, but Terezi was still asleep and she couldn’t bear to have her think she left again. So she stayed.

She adopted the habit of waking early. Usually Meenah did too, and then something would happen to engage her right away; a kiss, an adventure, or more and more as time went on, an argument.

She cleaned the kitchen. Hopefully it would show she cares, that she’s serious, that she’s changed. So much went unsaid and she’s worried that she won’t understand. She cleaned the entire house. A chair was wobbling. She fixed the chair. It was only noon and Terezi would be asleep for another hour or two.

She just couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to get out.

When Terezi got up Vriska was gone.

It wasn’t really a surprise. Vriska hated conflict, so she left. It was so predictable and she had hardened herself to it. It hurt so fucking bad.

Why did it have to be this way? Why her? Why did she have this pull on her, and why couldn’t she just cut the strings and let her go?

The kitchen was clean when she went to make breakfast. Odd. She’d never done anything like that before.

The eggs had shell shards in them, and more salt and pepper than whites but she’s the one who made them, her, and that was one thing Vriska couldn’t take away.

She sat down on the wobbly chair and it didn’t wobble. When she reached down the uneven leg she felt a seam where a piece of carpet was glued to the foot.

It made her laugh; at least this time she had something to remember her by.

Vriska came in with flowers, fragrant, not pretty ones. She took one step through the door only to see Terezi crying into her eggs. She took a breath as if to say something and then she

“HEY”

threw the plate across the room, sending it shattering a foot away from her head.

“YOU DON’T GET TO SEE ME LIKE THIS!”

“I didn’t mean-“

“GET OUT!”

She regretted it as soon as she said it but by god she was so fucking pissed. She didn’t mean it but she meant a thousand other things she couldn’t say out loud, and it was close enough.

Vriska stepped out and quickly closed the door. Terezi walked over to where she dropped the flowers.

Why her? Why her, why her…

Why was it always her-

She could hear something outside, barely. When she pressed her ear against the door it got clearer; soft sobs. This definitely wasn’t the Vriska who left her, fuck. She was the same person she left behind though. They had both been too mean for their own good, but now it was just her.

She wanted to be better. She wanted to forgive her. She wanted so much.

When the door opened they faced each other, both in silent tears. It was too much, to be together, to be apart. The tension would claim them sooner or later, so why not now?

They hugged, almost squeezing the life out of each other and when the vice grips loosened they stood in each other’s arms, breathing and feeling the other in a way that was too genuine to ignore.

Vriska was so tired of fighting. She was just too tired to play the game that Terezi did, their courtship ritual. The meanness, the quips, the competition, it would all come in time but now she was there, really there in her arms and she just needed her needed her needed her…

Terezi decided that if Vriska could change, she could too.

“Stay.”

“I will.”


	2. free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happened to "them"?

It was a little bit… odd… for Vriska to be back with Terezi- back home. She’d grown up there, and she always wanted to leave, but Terezi wanted to stay in school and Vriska would do anything for her. Almost did everything for her.

She coughed into the collar of her jacket and pulled it closed against the wind and cold. She could definitely wait for winter. Terezi loved to sit outside and numb until she turned bluer than she already was. She said she was moving up in the world, but it was never with a real smile.

She missed her real smiles. She hadn’t seen one since… fuck…

She scratched at a tear forming in her eye. Crying? What is this pussy shit. This is Vriska fucking Serket, and she really did blow it in every way imaginable. Fuck.

She bumped shoulders with someone. Probably a dweeb from high school. She took a deep breath and decided that she would be better than the old her. Better to let things slide sometimes. Better to-

“Bitch!”

Ok, fuck that noise.

She turned straight around and marched toward the creep without taking her hands out of her pockets. She kept walking, walking, until she was face to face. Ugh, Eridan. She kept walking, forcing him farther and farther back until realization struck fear into his features.

She also struck the pavement into his ass.

“Just like old times, ey Serk?”

She rolled her eyes back into her head.

“Uuuuuuuugh. Fuck off, Eridan.”

She said that, but she couldn’t make herself leave. There was something missing, some clarity she lacked when they were dating, some message that wasn’t conveyed. He looked at her, expectant.

She kicked him in the chest. So much for being better.

He cursed up a storm behind her but who fucking cares? Not fucking her. Let him. Let him do what he wants. Let him do what her wants and come back in her life like some kind of fucking ghost with bad taste in turtlenecks. It’s not like the relationship wasn’t trash, it was. It was her trash, and it was supposed to make Terezi jealous, but it made Kanaya jealous and she kissed her at a party to see what girls were like and then everyone yelled at her like it was her fault for having a good time. Terezi was the only one who would talk to her then.

Fuck. Always crawling back to her, aren’t you? Useless, wretched little- she had to stop and chuckle. Eridan would have said something like that.

Winter was coming on, alright. The first few flakes of snow drifted down and around her, melting on her skin. She always imagined there was a fire under there, in her blood, and that it would burn her up from the inside out.

Well she had her burnout, her spectacular, destructive burnout, and she was still here.

Terezi waited at home. Her home. It had been her home ever since Kanaya left to live with Rose in her apartment, leaving Terezi again with two halves of the rent and utilities. The last time that happened was when Vriska left.

Kanaya was sweet about it, turned it into a Vriska Serket recovery club, but she didn’t really get it. Or maybe she did, and that was the problem. Either way Terezi got a stable job and could pay, and she didn’t want the pity, couldn’t take it, and she blew up about it.

They still talk though. She doesn’t burn bridges quite as spectacularly as SOMEone she knows.

Speaking of which,

“Fuck, it’s dark in here.”

She could hear Vriska open the door, shuffle the groceries, stuff them in the cabinets and re-stuff them when she realized Kanaya had redone them. She traced her with her sounds every time she moved, afraid that she would just evaporate if given the chance.

“I heard you kicked Eridan.”

“Really?”

“Word gets around.”

“Well I did.”

“Did he deserve it?”

Vriska let out a quick ha, “yeah he did. Guess everyone knows I’m here.”

Terezi shrugged, “small town.”

“I know.”

More shuffling of groceries, interspersed with the flicking of tv channels.

“Rose called.”

“Rose?”

“Lalonde.”

“I know who Rose is.”

“She wanted to talk.”

“Oh I’m not-“ she shut a cabinet hard. Not quite a slam, but something that used to be one, “I don’t care if she got her lisence, her little ‘therapy’ sessions are bullshit and I’m not-“

“I said no.”

“Oh,” Vriska paused, halfway between putting something on the shelf, “Ok.”

She resumed.

“I want to be alone.”

It made Vriska start to hear that. “Oh, I’ll give you some room-“

“That’s not what I meant,” Terezi sighed, “sit down. I want to talk.”

Her heart sank a little bit at “talk.” It might be nothing. Maybe-

“Just because-“ oh no, “you got a haircut and tattoos and-“

“Aren’t you blind?”

“Rose told me.”

“Oh.”

Terezi sighed again. She derailed her speech. Now it’s all out the window. “I don’t like your anchor one.”

“Aw, babe,” she reached out to take her hands in hers, “you’re my anch-“

“Stop it.” She jerked her hands away. “This is exactly what I was going to talk about. Just because you’ve- I don’t know, reinvented yourself, and I invited you back into my life- it doesn’t mean I love you.”

“Oh.”

“It’s too much, it’s just- you can stay. You’re welcome to stay. We’re just not-“ Terezi drew in a shaky breath, and Vriska tried to draw her into a hug but-

“Stop it! There’s too much, you know there’s too much and you can’t just do this to me, I-“

She’s full blown crying now, and it’s not like her to run away and lock herself in her room but she does and she’s not coming out and

“Terezi… Terezi!”

Vriska’s banging on the door but every word she says just wretches more sobs from the room and it just gets worse and worse until she takes a step back.

She can’t fix this. Not now, at least right now, and not like this. She has to be different. Better. She can be better.

She trails back to the couch and puts on the shitty local program that Terezi likes to laugh at maybe if she puts it on a little bit loud it’ll draw her out and they can laugh it off like they used to and it’ll go back to normal, just back to normal and it’s all she wants-

But she doesn’t come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> going good? any appetite for more chapters?


	3. the world will try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She really did burn all her bridges, huh

It’s time to make her social debut, and it’s NOT because Terezi hasn’t talked to her in like, two days. It’s whatever. It’s fine.

The problem is that she hates everyone in town except Terezi. Meenah and the rest of them skipped town, and that was fun for a bit and then it completely exploded. She cried a lot over that but no more!!!!!!!! She refuses to feel sorry for herself.

Rose wanted to talk. She wasn’t sure if it was because of some superiority thing or to suss her out or kill her for what she did to her girlfriend. Honestly? Vriska doesn’t even care. Rose is the only person in this town with as many irons in the fire as her, and everyone else is boring as shit.

Maybe not.

She swung a hard left because why not see some familiar faces while she’s in the area. It’s definitely NOT because Rose scares her. Nope.

She knocked on a familiar door, loudly. She knew Horuss at least was home. She didn’t particularly like him, but he’d definitely know where Equius was.

Instead, Equius answered the door himself.

“Zahak! Guess who’s back in town…”

“I assume it is you.”

“You’re damn right it is!!!!!!!! How about a chat like old times?”

“I wouldn’t exactly describe our interactions as chats, but you may come in as long as-“ she brushed past him, “… you take off your shoes.”

He sighed, defeated. He never once got her to take off her shoes.

The ground was completely covered by his latest robotics project, but Vriska was used to navigating his space. Lack of space, rather.

“How’ve you been?”

“Not well. When you left my brother-“

“Yeah yeah, I’m asking about YOU Equius!”

“I am very lonely.”

“… you ever… see Aranea? Or Nepeta?”

He nods, “yet there is an empty house to come back to. That kind of loneliness does not abate.”

She could tell this was no going well.

“I’m doing fantaaaaaaaastic, thank you for asking. Your old prosthetic even held up through everything!” 

She detached it and waved it in his direction. He took hold of one of the fingers, wiggling it and the joints it attached to.

“I am glad to hear it.”

He didn’t smile exactly, but the strain left his voice.

“You’re glad, I’m ecstatic!”

“What?”

“Never mind. Do you want to… um…” she’d never really, spent time? with Equius? at least not doing things. She’d sit there and he’d work on something. And she’d talk. He didn’t talk much. At least not to her.

Ok ok ok, fresh start, new Vriska. What would the new Vriska do…

“Is there something you want?” he snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Whaaaaaaaat? Noooooooo… I just…” new Vriska, new Vriska, new Vriska, “I’m… lonely…….. too.”

It was painful to say, but true. The new Vriska knew she had to do it, not how to make it easy.

Equius looked surprised, “Well… you may watch me construct this prosthetic, if you wish,” he smiled, Nepeta must be getting through to him, “then we could be lonely… together…”

He just kinda, trailed off. Not great but he didn’t try to push her out of his house like last time soooooooo…….. all in all a plus. She sat and watched for a few hours, kind of like how it was, and not at all like how it was. different. A good different.

When she finally left she didn’t feel like shit. Surprise surprise, social interaction = good feelings, even if it’s with the sweatiest weirdo she knows. File that away as something Aranea was right about.

She had to laugh a bit at that. She sure didn’t miss her.

She did, though. She missed the space she left.

Oh well!

By the time she got to Rose’s it was late. LATE late, like one AM. She’d be awake. That good ol’ Lalonde insomnia. She banged on the door, just to set the tone; she was feeling good, ready to spar, and she’s even got the upper hand now that-

Oh.

Kanaya opened the door. She looked… irritated.

“What do you want, Vriska.”

“Is this, this is still Rose’s apartment?”

“Yes. Our apartment.”

“Oh.”

She REALLY wanted to postpone this conversation. Or never even have it. That would’ve been perfectly fine.

“Again, is there something you-“

“I’M SORRY!!!!!!!!” FUCK she’s already crying.

Kanaya looked… taken aback, “Come in, I’ll-“

Vriska rushed past her, trying to hide her face in her sleeve. She hit the couch, pushing her face into a pillow.

“Where’s Rose” she said, almost completely muffled by the pillow.

“Asleep.”

Huh.

“I figured she’d be the night owl.”

“She’s gotten a lot better since you last saw her.”

“Yeah she was a WRECK,” she sat up to find that Kanaya sat down next to her.

“You wanted to talk to her?”

“Well she me, and Terezi, I dunno why.”

“Could it be that she is your friend and wanted to see you?”

“Pssshhhhhhhh,” Vriska waved her hand in the air, “can’t be.”

Kanaya laughed a bit. In the moonlight she was pretty. Really pretty. It glinted of her teeth her engagement ring her-

WHAT

She grabbed the ringed hand, “YOU’RE ENGANGED!!!!!!!!” then dropped it, not wanting to be overly rude to someone who hasn’t met the new Vriska.

Kanaya laughed at that, too, “yes, It happened last spring. I’m surprised you haven’t heard.”

“I…” she sighed, time to get this over with, “I’m really sorry, about everything. I shouldn’t have treated you like I did or fucked you over or fucked with Rose-“

“Fucked Rose.”

“Yeah…” fuck she was REALLY crying now, “It was all so stupid and I don’t know why I did it but I promise you I’m different now or at least I’m trying and I can at least say that all that stuff I did was fucked up and I just-“

Kanaya’s hands on her shoulders quieted her instantly.

“How are you different now? This just, please tell me that you’ve actually changed.”

Sniff, “I’m trying,” sniff, “I got-“ sniff, “a therapist, and, and I’m medicated-“

“Vriska you are dear to me but PLEASE get a hold of yourself.”

Deep breath. In, out. In, “ok, I… I just fucked up. I fucked up a lot and, and I know I’m going to keep fucking up but this time I’m really trying, I’m really really trying.”

“Alright,” she put her hands back in her lap, “I don’t forgive you.”

“I-“ FUCK!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK- “I j- uh,” fuck she is crying AGAIN, “I thought, maybe if I got good enough and-“

“Shut up.”

!!!!!!!!

“For once can you think that something, anything isn’t about you? Forgiving you is partly about you, yes, but mostly it’s me. It’s how I feel, how I deal with what you did, and I’m not ready to forgive you yet. But that’s ok. You are… really trying. I can hear it. You’re different, but I just can't take your word for it. When I see you become the person you want to be, or at least really dedicate yourself to it, then I’ll forgive you. I just haven’t seen you in two years and I’m so used to you lying. Come here.”

Kanaya drew her into a hug.

“I need time. I’m sure Terezi does too.”

“Yeah…”

“She’s nottalking to you?”

“How did you know?”

“Rose told me.”

“Why does she KNOW everything.”

“I’m not sure. You’re welcome in our house, and we’ll see how it goes.”

“Thank you.”

Vriska pulled away, and Kanaya let her. For a moment she remembered why it was Kanaya, out of all the other girls, she choose to kiss. She was, is, beautiful. Smart, kind. Amazing.

“Rose is lucky.”

“Mmhm.”

Kanaya looked at her, up and down. An unreadable expression plastered on her face.

“I’m surprised you haven’t killed yourself.”

Vriska’s face fell, “me too.” she said.

“I’m glad.”

She took a moment, a moment to just breathe,

“Me too.”


	4. Oh, you, and I

She got back to Terezi’s apartment at five. It was dark, as always, but Terezi wasn’t there when she turned on the lights. A quick check of the doors and hers was closed. Must be sleeping. She should too.

When she collapsed on the bed, clothes completely on, she told herself it was just for a second, just a little rest before getting ready, just…

When she opened her eyes it was six pm.

Terezi woke up at noon. She checked her texts, Kanaya and Rose messaged her. Kanaya at three am. Huh.

Rose still wanted to talk, but she wasn’t ready. It’s not that when it’s all laid out she’s worried that she’ll feel something for Vriska, she’s worried that she won’t. She spent a long time believing in soulmates, but the past two years have really put it to the test. No contact. No news. Didn’t even know if she was alive or dead. So Terezi Pyrope, does absence really make the heart grow fonder?

Yes. Fuck yes.

And she HATED it. She hated herself for staying loyal to someone so fucked up, and she hated Vriska for still liking her! How FUCKING dare she. After all this time she might have the decency of letting her go. Nope. Not Vriska Serket, who never explicitly said she felt nothing for her. If only she felt nothing, then Terezi could let it go. But… she didn’t, and she couldn’t.

She spent months agonizing over it. Why not just let her go? Why not just lie? She’d done it before, so much, why was it so hard all of a sudden? and why was she sleeping UNTILL SIX PM!?

Breakfast, lunch, AND, dinner rolled by without her. She did the chores like she always did, but now that there was someone else in the house she was mad about it. “Oh, I’m Vriska and I don’t take out the trash because I’m FUCKING UNCONSCIOUS!” That didn’t even wake her up. The nerve.

Time to test it. Time to test if she really still likes her. And tests, whatever, they’re not great. She hates them. Vriska’s just being so forthcoming and honest and it’s hard to understand her. So, the test.

When Vriska got up to make breakfast/lunch/dinner, Terezi sat on the couch. They hadn’t spoken for about seventy two hours, so she broke the silence.

“You saw Kanaya last night?”

She jumped a bit, “Uh, yeah.”

“How’d it go?”

“Well… she didn’t exactly forgive me for everything which I totally get but she didn’t try to kill me so that’s a plus. It went really great.”

“That’s good.”

“Hmm.”

What’s she supposed to make of this?

“So it went great?”

Vriska nodded, “yeah.”

What the fuck kind of game is she playing?

“It went great.”

“Uh… is this like, a problem? …Terezi?”

“Did you see Rose?”

“No, she was… asleep… is there something going on that I don’t know about?”

“I slept with her.”

“LAST NIGHT????????”

“NO! Like, six months ago.”

She could tell Vriska was taking deep breaths, she could hear them from across the room.

“G- uh, good for you. For you two,” she tried to be reasonable with herself about this, it doesn’t mean anything, it was while she was gone, no wonder she went off and- “that’s great. good for both of you.”

A moment passed with excruciating slowness.

“Wait, weren’t they married by then?”

“And?”

This was, a lot. A lot a lot, “would you excuse me please?” She went to her old room, now the guest room, maybe where they fucked. Ewwwwwwww.

They do NOT have chemistry. Do they? What were you doing six months ago, Serket? Still fully abandoning the love of your life just to get some cheap thrills? Meenah’d already left her by then, it was just her and nobody else, wandering around trying to get a job.

She’d been fired a lot for yelling at customers, so retail gigs didn’t exactly last long. Stolen wallets didn’t exactly stretch well, especially when she was stealing from people who were just as broke as her. Six months ago was about when she’d broken down and called Aranea, fuck her honestly, and begged her for a job with Mindfang.

She got it. It was shit, but she got paid, and family was allowed to crash at their house so rent was out of the picture.

The work was mostly running boxes around a warehouse. She didn’t know exactly what was in them but they were heavy as rocks. She finally had to start working out again, and she could afford it. Not broke, but still kind of homeless.

She’s still kind of homeless.

Ugh.

And why does she CRY so much now???????? It’s pathetic. Why cry about it? It’s not like she blew the only shot she ever had to find love and then kept fucking up over and over again? It’s not like she left someone who depended on her and then that person went to sleep with someone else because of completely understandable reasons?

Terezi can hear her sobbing from the living room.

It’s not like Terezi is enjoying this. It’s more… she’s satisfied. That’s it. Vriska can’t just come back into her life fully reformed and show no emotion over anything. She had to know that she could still hurt her. It’s not a nice thought, but it’s one she needs. She needs to know that she cares, that she isn’t just doing this to make herself feel better.

Ok maybe it’s getting painful to listen to. She’s put her through enough.

“Vriska?” she said, pushing the bedroom door open.

“Were you really that lonely that you went to FUCK ROSE????????”

That made her laugh a bit. Awful, but still, “maybe. Maybe you just fucked up real bad.”

“I just, it’s so stupid!!!!!!!! And I did! I did fuck up! And it doesn’t make a difference how I feel, you were so fucking lonely, I fucked up. I fucked everything up!”

“Yeah,” not one to mince words, “Kanaya said you’re trying.”

Snif, “I am,” snif.

“Good. That’s good,” Terezi took a deep breath, in, out, “thanks.”

“For what?”

“Coming back.”

“Pshhhh,” she said, still fully in tears, “you’re welcome.”

Ok, Terezi HAD to laugh at that one. And when she did the tension left Vriska’s shoulders. She even laughed a little too. And, fuck, she was so gorgeous, even with everything that happened, she couldn’t not love her.

Terezi took a moment to breathe, to settle out of the giggling fit that seized her entire body. She breathed, and she knew Vriska was watching, waiting for her.

“I fixed your chair-“

“I know, stupid,” Terezi leaned in, and kissed her.


	5. the things in my brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will you miss me?

It was definitely time to call in the referee. Rose sat across from them, fully done up like some kind of therapist librarian hybrid, like that wasn’t what she normally wore anyway.

“So, I would like to get this out of the way first. Vriska,” she held out her hand, gesturing across the room, “it is wonderful to see you again.”

“Uh, likewise.”

Did she not like her or something? Rose never really… they had a complicated relationship.

“I see no reason not to get started then. Terezi,” she gestured to the opposite corner of the room, “you and Vriska are having couples-“

“We are NOT a couple.”

“Individual problems. You are having individual problems… adjacently.”

“I guess.”

“We might as well get started with how you both feel about this situation. Terezi, would you like to start?”

“No.”

“… Okay, Vriska?”

“No.”

“…Okay.”

Terezi sat up straight in her chair, “I just don’t know what she’s on about. We’re not a thing-“

“You did kiss her-“

Vriska sat up, “did you TELL her EVERYTHING?”

“Please, lets all settle down. Vriska, Terezi simply informed me of the situation. I’m only here as a neutral arbiter, and a friend to both of you.”

“A friend, yeah, did you two really fuck AFTER getting married?”

Rose shot a look to Terezi, who shifted her legs under her.

“We’re not here to talk about that. Now-“

“Shouldn’t we though?”

“Stop being a little shit, Vriska-“

“Oh I’m sure you’d love that, I’m sure you’d love me to shut up so you can fuck my- she’s- UGH!”

“No no, what were you going to say there?”

“My girlfriend. Come on, this is ridiculous! You like me, we both know it! We need each other-“

Terezi’s glasses flashed as she swung her head around, “do NOT tell me what I need.”

“Or what, you’ll kick me out of the house again? You can’t do that forever!”

“I can, and I will.”

Vriska’s face fell slowly as she understood what she meant.

“Oh.”

Rose had never seen Vriska fold in on herself. It was like watching an explosion in reverse; All the shrapnel came in and the fire and smoke packaged up neatly into a tight little cage. Her knees came up to her chest and her arms retreated past her knees.

“Oh.”

Terezi looked positively pained to witness this. Time to step in.

“I can see that there’s a lot of emotion between the two of you.” Both of them shot her a ‘no shit’ glance, perfect ice breaker, points for Rose, “so we should start by naming them. Vriska, would you like to start?”

“Fine,” she tried to look as care-free as she could, but she didn’t move to take up any more space, “I feel, mad…I’m mad. I want to- I love you, Terezi-“

“Why don’t you talk to me instead? It can be scary when someone’s talking right at you, especially if it’s something intense.”

“Ok, uhh, I love her, I miss her, even when we’re right next to each other it wasn’t like it was-“

“Oh you forfeited that when you left-“

“Terezi, I’ll make sure you have time to talk, right now it’s important that Vriska feels she has space.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“Continue.”

“Well, I know I shouldn’t have left. I know that. I don’t know what you- she, I don’t know what else she wants from me to prove that. I’ll never do it again, I’m serious. I promise, I’m not-“ se let one leg fall back to the floor, “I’m not like that anymore, I want this to work, I’m…”

“Is that all you want to say?”

“No, but, I want to hear what she says first.”

“Alright, Terezi.”

“Sup.”

“Why did you kiss Vriska the other day?”

“Ugh, I don’t want to-“ Vriska mouthed ‘please’ from the other side of the room, “fine. Fine. I did it because I… missed you- her. I missed her. I like… her. I wanted it to be true, what you- she said. I wanted it to be like it used to.”

“And why did you run away?”

“It was just, I knew it was going to happen again, something would. Something was going to happen and I would regret being with you again. It’s so hard to be with you, and hard to not be with you. I wish it was easier when you were gone, but it was harder. I don’t know what to do.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t know,” Vriska dropped her other leg, let her hands rest on her lap, “that it was hard for you to be with me.”

“That’s just it! You didn’t notice! I know it’s hard to be you, but it’s hard to be me too! I have problems too, and you ran over them if you couldn’t solve them right away. We never talked about this, because if I said something, you would think you’re awful and then I’d have to comfort you. That’s not how it’s supposed to go.”

“I- I see what you mean. I didn’t know how to… be with you, I always had to be doing something else or be someone else… if I stopped moving to take a real look at myself I thought I would burn up.”

“Did you?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been saying that you have taken a good look at yourself. Did you burn up?”

“No,” Vriska sighed, and held her head in her hands, “did you want me to?”

“Kind of.”

“Hey!”

Terezi let out a chuckle, “I’m… I’m glad you came back. I am. I just can’t… be around you. Exist around you. It feels like every moment that you were gone is just pressing in when I try.”

“Okay… Okay. Should I… stay somewhere else, for a bit?”

“Maybe… just, give me a few days. I’ll… I’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“Okay.”


	7. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back : )

“SLEEP8VER!!!!!!!!”

“Christ.”

New-Vriska wasn’t really sure how to approach sleeping in her ex-something’s and ex-my-girlfriend-bestfriend-Terezi-slept-with-Rose-????????’s house, but it wasn’t going to stop her. Pillow under one arm and an alarming lack of personal hygiene products under the other, she just walked in. After Rose, of course.

Rose had invited her after the “”””””””therapy session””””””””, and Vriska had already visualized the better half of a gatsby-esque attention grab before she realized she didn’t really have friends any more. Damn if she wasn’t going to thy though.

“Did you at least bring a toothbrush?”

“Why would I need that?”

“… Ok.”

Kanaya showed her to the guest room. A cute little thing, Vriska thought, with some of Rose’s books and Kanaya’s fabrics thrown around for decoration. It had a bed, dresser, a neat little pile of blankets-

“Here.”

Oh, and a toothbrush. And toothpaste.

“Please use it.”

“I’m fine. And thanks, for” Vriska gestured around, “all of this. Really.”

“You are welcome. I do hope that you and Terezi make up.”

“Me too.”

She waited for a moment before leaving. She seemed robotic, weird.

Probably something up with Rose, or something.

Vriska didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have. Her phone said four thirty, and she could feel the sweat between her fingers. She knew where she was, but couldn’t place it. The cloth of the sheets slid around her feet as she stepped out onto the floor. Cold.

That’s what she was thinking about. She felt cold. Kanaya’s such a good host, she must’ve put extra blankets out. Somewhere. Fuck, there’s so many goddamned cabinets.

Here, there, under the bed, a bunch of towels but she wasn’t about to sleep in those. Such a good host, such a good host. She paced down the hallway, to some kind of closet. Linens? No, coats. Such a good host.

She didn’t deserve it. She would’ve noticed her headache if she were in her body. Good host. She would have talked to Latula more if she didn’t look so much like-

Fuck. Ten feet up and away, it’s like she’s watching a stranger move around. Towels, coats, blankets. The sound of a sleeping house rang out, loud and deafening. Host. She didn’t deserve it.

Where’d she come from? She’d swear he’s just around the corner, no, another? Horuss didn’t go missing over nothing. But it’s not her fault. It’s not. This wasn’t the team kitchen, but it had the same kind of knives. She could feel it between her hands, helping out to make dinner. She wasn’t good for anything but chopping vegetables.

And those weren’t good cuts, straight and true. Her hand always shook when it had a knife in it, so the lines would always be off. Sideways. Crooked.

Not good for anything. She swore she just saw him a minute ago. Yesterday. Last tuesday was when Meenah said to pack up but what about everything they built? What about them? Whose fucking kitchen is this!?

——

Kanaya had tears in her eyes when she found her.

She came to slowly. She fell asleep in a closet, it took them an hour to find her. She scattered knives around the floor, her alarm kept going off.

“This is what I was worried about.”

“It happened before?”

“Yes, when we were together, a couple of times.”

“I don’t remember”

“I know,” she sighed, “I know, here, let’s get up.”

They walked over to the table, Vriska a little unsteady on her feet. Kanaya dropped her in a chair and went to the kitchen.

“How do you feel?”

“Cold.”

She shook her head, “you always said that.”

A coffee landed in front of her, but she wasn’t paying attention.

“Do you know where you are?”

“No. Your house?”

“Yes. You got here with Rose last night, after your session with Terezi.”

“Is she ok?”

“Nothing’s happened to her.”

“Ok.”

Slowly she moved her hands around the cup, letting the warm edges press into her skin.

“Don’t you have work, or something?”

“It’s saturday. Rose has a client, but I don’t work today.”

“It’s saturday?”

“Yes. Before that it was friday, then thursday…”

“Then wednesday tuesday monday… sunday.”

She took a deep breath.

“What was it like? The other times that I…”

“It was like this. And then you would lie down somewhere and stare for a while, and then you would ask for a hug.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want a hug right now?”

“yES,” she croaked, already starting to cry. When Kanaya walked over she stood, and when they touched it just felt so

familiar.


	8. can you drink all my thoughts?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i did it :)

Being alone is nothing new. Distracting herself wasn’t new. Being unable to though… that was new. Terezi sat in the dark, she called in sick to work, and there was just… nothing to do. The empty feeling wasn’t new. The empty house wasn’t new.

Nothing new or exciting had happened to her since Vriska left. And she knew it was because Vriska left. And she swore that if she got another chance she’d hold on or rip her eyes out or chase her to the end of the planet but it didn’t happen that way.

She looked. She looked a lot. It was as if she vanished for a little bit, and then they kept missing each other. Terezi would be in one city, only to hear that Vriska was there a few days before. She saw her everywhere. A lot of things come in eights.

That was when she was moving around a lot. The empty house was too much for a few months, and trying to make friends at law school didn’t take off. Something something jealousy, something something depressive spiral, whatever.

It didn’t matter. They kicked her out anyways.

Her grades were phenomenal, if she turned anything in at all. if she even showed up. She cut into her savings to “investigate” and when nothing clicked magically into place she kept trying.

When she wasn’t out she was in, and she was in more and more often. Not everyone is willing to hang around when you’re sad. And it’s kind of simplistic, isn’t it? Get the girl, get the life, get the job… why bother? Why does that matter when there’s something missing?

And it isn’t exactly Vriska. This isn’t a damsel in distress situation. Vriska doesn’t fix her problems, she usually makes them worse but she always stayed. Almost always. Why her? Why now?

Two years is such a long time to be floating in space.

Motivation had driven Vriska for most of her life, and then it was gone. It was a dead end town with a discount fairytale ending in a shitty house with a shitty job, what, cashiering? While Terezi went off to be the best lawyer in thee universe?

Why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be someone so much more put together, so much more settled, more permanent than her? She’d leave her some day, for sure. Terezi’d gotten so good at tearing down her walls that she must know what’s behind them by now. It’s nothing. No one. No one good, anyway.

She had almost given up. She could never give up. Terezi Pyrope doesn’t give up.

She sits on the couch a lot, and barely drags herself off to work and barely makes rent and barely wants to live but fuck if she just can’t give up. It’s too empty in this quiet house. She missed when it was loud, when there were friends, when there was Vriska. It’s not the same alone.

She hates to be alone.

The air is still cold. She hasn’t bundled up enough and the bright sun is just a little too much today. There is chatter to the side, bustle on the other. Laughing in the park she cuts through, and arguing in the parking lot. There’s running in the gym, and walking on the street, and she’s knocking at the door.

There are no more distractions.


	9. the last one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finíshed (:

Vriska opens it, because of couse she does.

“Did you miss me?” Terezi says, a real question waiting for a real answer.

“Yes” she says, and in spite of herself she cries.

She used to hate herself when she cried.

Terezi moves forward, moving to wipe away the tear and missing by a mile.

“My face is over here, dumbass” Vriska laughs. She’s still crying.

“How am I supposed to know, dumbass.”

They both smile and shout

“I’M FUCKING BLIND DUMBASS!!!!!!!!”

Vriska embraces her, and their arms settle in the spots that they know.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I continue this? make it a multi chapter fic?


End file.
